Kindness and Appreciation

I just returned from a week-long Workcamp in McDowell County, West Virginia with students from Sidwell Friends School and Upshur Helping Hands from Buckhannon, WV.  These trips are always energizing, exhausting, hopeful and discouraging.  The kids are great and give a sense of hope for the future.  We do great work, but there are always the questions of "In what ways are we breaking the cycle?" and "How do we translate the experiences of service in other communities to making a difference in our own backyard?"  In this part of WV (coal country) there are few jobs available with little on the horizon; there is limited access to the basics - food, healthcare, education - so the opportunities to get out are limited.  Drug addiction is a huge problem - perhaps an even bigger problem than anything else. But there is also a beauty and a sense of belonging to the place that keeps people there and draws others there such as ourselves.  In addition, because it is coal country and we rely on coal to keep energy affordable, we are connected.  This area bears the consequences of our thirst for energy.  So in the mix of all this, we do have opportunities to explore individual and societal patterns and perhaps explore how we can learn things in a place like McDowell County that can be of benefit to that county as well as in our own backyard. What I find is that that it is rarely in the actual service that these opportunities emerge, but in the conversations as we spend time together.

This past week, the theme of Kindness and Appreciation emerged.  Here's how it came about:
We were helping a woman by nailing down her porch stairs.  After we finished and returned to our own project next door (building a porch roof), one of the kids who helped asked if we were thanked for our work.  I stated that yes, we were, but also questioned "should that matter?"  Rather than do something so that we are thanked, is it not ok to be thankful for the opportunity to be of service?  It was an "off-the-cuff" response, but seemed to resonate with both the student and with me.  For many, making sure to thank people is a golden rule - so much so that at times, the thanks seem more driven by obligation than appreciation.  I do believe that it is best when there is time taken to express appreciation, but when it is not forthcoming, does that mean we don't help the person?  Does that mean they don't appreciate our efforts?  To truly be of service, it is without expectation.  In fact, the most spiritually important service we can provide might be the kind of service that is not appreciated or even noticed.
The thing is, because we are human, it is not so easy to put our egos aside.  This can leave an empty feeling if we keep the need for appreciation externally-focused.  What we can do is practice a deep sense of appreciation for the opportunity to be of service and, in our act of service, we are serving not just another person but also a higher purpose - God, community, environment - take your pick.  If nothing else, the world is a better place.  By bringing appreciation to these interactions, we bring greater appreciation to the world.

This is where kindness fits in.  The more we can practice little acts of kindness - anything from holding a door open for someone, stopping to pet a dog, picking up a piece of litter - I have found that the heart softens and the ego-need lessens.
It really is simply said: if we want more appreciation in the world, we can practice greater appreciation.  If we want more kindness in the world, we have to practice more kindness.
These multi-day Workcamps - whether they are in DC, West Virginia, South Dakota, New Orleans, or Kenya - are opportunities to practice this through service, building community, worship sharing/reflection and simply becoming more conscious.  It is when we can use these "away" experiences to enhance our proficiency as well as energize our spirit in our daily lives, that I believe we are truly on the way to global transformation towards greater peace.

Far-ranging activities in the name of Service

This past week’s range of activities is part of why I love my job:
Saturday: Led a retreat for a local Meeting on Core Truths and Radical Hospitality. It was a day that brought together a collection of experiences and resources with the real-life challenges of seeing how difficult it is to walk the talk.
Sunday: Helped to register and disassemble 25 bicycles donated for Bikes for the World
Monday: Attended the White House Office of Faith and Neighborhood Partnerships press briefing in honor of Earth Day. The majority of people I met this day were folks from evangelical and Christian colleges, not the usual list of cohorts we liberals expect to see at events supporting our causes. But, as I have learned from the years I lived in Wheaton, IL, the commonality of being human is far greater than the differences we may have. We just have to trust it. Thanks to Jose Aguto from FCNL for including me.
Tuesday: Started with a visit to an elderly couple about 10 blocks southeast of William Penn House to assess their request for help with some home renovation and security projects that we will do with groups that come during the summer. Later, a radio interview with a Chicago news radio program about the rationale behind planning the symposiums in Illinois called “HIV Self-Testing: Opportunities, Issues and Ethics.” Pieces of the interview aired throughout that evening and the following day. I also had a phone meeting with the manufacturers of rapid HIV-tests as preparation for giving oral comments at the upcoming FDA community hearings on self-testing for HIV.
Wednesday: A supposed day-off but still ended up in the office putting up pictures of Workcamps on the hall bulletin board so people can see the range of Workcamp activities.
Thursday: Took a small group of 8th grade students from a Quaker school to do some service work for an elderly woman. Weeding, planting, cutting hedges – the little things that bring joy to this woman. As importantly, this group did in a few hours what would have taken the daughter of this woman upwards of a week to do, freeing the daughter to care for her mother and do what she does best – advocate for affordable housing in the DC community. We need to do all we can to help keep people like this out using their gifts in the world to benefit all people.
Friday: Started the morning attending a breakfast and daily reflection at a local church. The majority of attenders at this grassroots community ritual are homeless men and women. It is an inspiring example of compassion and love that flows through a warm meal and a handshake. The 8th grade students joined us. The evening was spent welcoming 12 seniors in high school from China who checked into William Penn House at about 8:30PM. These are high-achieving students on a tour of the US, and will be doing a few hours of community service with us over the weekend. This was capped off with a great conversation with a “seasoned” Friend who had been staying at WPH for a few days while attending meetings with FCNL. We compared notes on advocacy, youth leadership, spirituality, opportunities, action and service. This is a conversation that will continue.
From getting dirty with 13-year olds to greasy while taking bikes apart to being on the radio to being at a White House briefing, interspersed with planning for West Virginia and South Dakota Workcamps and dealing with other issues that arise, this is why I love the work that I do.  This list doesn't include the meetings with book authors, Tahrir Square organizers, and the countless others who come through our doors to lobby, do service, deepen their faith, or simply visit the city.  For me, all these things are connected. They are about finding one's truth while learning to listen to others. They are a part of a passion for making a difference in the world and creating opportunities for others to find they voice, while also struggling to articulate how all this is connected. Is it making a difference? I hope so.

Personal and Social Gospel of Quakerism

To what extent is Quakerism – as expressed by unprogrammed liberal Friends – a mushy religion defined more by silent worship and stances on social issues than on deep theology? Based on where Friends show up and the bumper stickers on our cars, it is clear where we stand on war, military spending, gay rights, mountain-top removal, hydro-fracking and environmental issues. We have a standard-issue car – either a Toyota Prius or Honda Civic hybrid. These tend to all be expressions of our social gospel, but underneath all of this, is there a disciplined theology that guides our principles?

I often sense (perhaps project?) among Quaker circles a feeling that if we were to drop our rigidity on socio-enviro-political issues we would not be sure what we stand for, or if we dare to suggest that we question the applicability of Quaker process to our decision-making that we are violating something sacred. We have a clear social gospel that is averse to injustice, is earth-centered and very much about the common good, but what about our personal gospel – sacred truth – that provides the ballast for the social gospel? It’s not that there is anything wrong with the social gospel, but when that is all we have, it tends to need the “other” - someone on the other side of the issue - to give it validity, and it can lead to an emotional reactivity as we choose sides and point fingers.

The challenge seems to be that when the idea of a “personal gospel” is raised, there is an understandable reaction, as if piousness, purity, sin and damnation are to follow, none of which fit easily with both our social gospel and the sometimes mushy “all people are welcome” message. I often found myself recoiling at the thought. Does this mean unprogrammed Friends cannot advocate a personal gospel?

As I have found, Friends readily embrace some form of “there is that of God in All” as a common and core truth. Can this be embraced and nurtured as a personal gospel – one that, above all else, is our core truth in a way that does not threaten or negate the social gospel, but instead informs the social gospel? Many people come to Quakerism after painful experiences with rigid and/or orthodox gospel messages of judgment, sin, hell and damnation, finding comfort in the warmth of a loving and welcoming community that also generally sits on what they find the “right side” of social issues. Our embracing of the common truth, however, tends to be fairly soft.

One does not have to spend too much time with unprogrammed Friends to seen that many – perhaps 50% or more – of the folks that live in our community are really not welcome because of their politics or stances on social issues.

Is it possible to reverse this, and to say that all are welcome DESPITE their stance on social and political issues, and that these are secondary to our commitment to welcoming all? Certainly we have the words in our materials. For example, the Baltimore Yearly Meeting Vision Statement has these two points (page 121 of 2011 Yearbook):
• “We aspire to listen deeply and inclusively to each other”
• “We seek to…witness in the world to our shared experience of the infinite love of God”

To the first point, aspiring to listen deeply and inclusively: are not our Meetings and gathering places where we practice deep listening – not to each other, but just as a practice of deep listening? We can get caught up sometimes thinking we need to be listening for something or to each other, but deep listening is more of a holistic practice.

To the second point, when we seek (and we do so joyfully – the trickier part) to share our experience of the infinite love, this is a calling to try and be an example of that infinite love, knowing that we as humans can never perfect it but we can always get a bit better at it. Being joyful about seeking keeps a sense of wonder and enthusiasm alive while keeping the judgment and negative aspects at bay, allowing us to be more open to seeing that God/goodness in others. It is this deeper connection that allows for the truths of our social gospel to be held in civil rather than divisive discourse, ultimately advancing both the personal and social gospel through faith.

This is not some mushy theology, but is in fact one that calls for some of the deepest faith. If we truly believe there is that of God in all, and ours is to joyfully seek it while sharing that infinite love, we have to constantly be practicing it, trying to improve on it, every single day. We have to know that we will never perfect the practice of it. I certainly fail countless more times than I succeed. But in deepening our faith in it, we can always get better. It means that our Meetings and gatherings are places to more consciously practice it so that when we venture out in the world no matter where we are we are better practiced. It also means finding new places to practice – going to places where there not people of “like mind”, and not try to convince them the error of their ways, but to instead practice deep listening while joyfully seeking and loving.

As this election year unfolds, unprogrammed Friends have an opportunity and perhaps a responsibility to embrace this challenge. If ever there was a time to practice advancing both our personal and social gospel, this is it. I also believe that if we only focus on the social gospel while demonizing those who disagree with it (including conservatives, military, etc.), we are doing so at the expense of our personal and communal gospel and both will lose.

(Acknowledgment: Some of the inspiration for this discernment of personal and social gospel is due to 2 books I recently read; "Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices" by Brian McLaren and "Saint and the Sultan" - about St. Francis of Assisi meeting with the Sultan of Egypt during the height of the 5th crusade - by Paul Moses.)

Advocacy and Action

I love working with the groups that come through our doors (well, truth be told, I love working with most of them). Many of the groups that come to DC and stay with us do so with an aspiration to learn, to advocate and to do service work. All of this is important stuff that needs to be done if we are to truly be a part of making the world a better place. The groups do some great things - cleaning neighbor's yards and houses, picking litter from river banks and trash traps, helping prepare meals and join in fellow-ship with people from other walks of life and those in need, and learning about and giving voice to the environmental and justice needs of the greater community.

So it is always a dilemma for me (and I'm sure for my co-workers) when they leave our place and it is a mess, or garbage cans are full of empty water bottles, aluminum cans, and wrappers from junk food. It's happened with groups of all ages and here for all kinds of reasons and issues from Workcamps to seminars. The dilemma is that I fully understand how, after a busy day, it is easy to just "let one's hair down" and kick back. I certainly don't want people to lose sight of the bigger picture. At the same time, I also know that all things are connected and, if we are to truly make a difference, we have to get on a journey of greater consciousness and stewardship - one that includes taking time to look around us and be present in the moment as we journey from point to point.

One of the things we try to promote in our programs and Workcamps is that these are places to exercise what we believe, not just talk about it. The exercise is very much a practice - as in we practice it so we can be better at it. Think of it as training - constantly trying to improve. In this way, perhaps, we can see why what we might think should be easy fixes if only others would be different really are not so easy as we see difficult is to live our beliefs. This is not to say we should not continue to push for the external changes, but perhaps our messages may come across when we speak with genuine humility. Can we really expect others (i.e. our political leaders) to clean up our environment when on a daily basis we walk right over trash? Can we really expect the energy issues of our time to go away when we sit around in groups on our laptops and cell phones in warm, well-lit rooms on cold evenings? Can we really bemoan the influence of multi-national corporations and then proceed to throw our meal money at food counters that are part of these corporations unbeknownst to us?

Of course, we also cannot be so hyper-vigilant about these things that we paralyze ourselves. If we were to pick up every piece of trash as we go from place to place, we'd never get there. What we can do, however, is commit that we will take a few minutes to insure that the world is a better place because we have been there. For me, this always has to start where I have been and where I spend my days. When groups leave our place a mess, I wonder how successful we have been.

What I get from other faith messages

When I am in DC, I am often attracted to the Sunday folk mass at The National Cathedral (10AM) rather than a Quaker service in the region. Given that I work for William Penn House as well as many Quaker schools and am actively involved in Friends General Conference and Baltimore Yearly Meeting, often in capacities of advocating for and on behalf of Quakers and Quakerism, I am sometimes conflicted with this. I feel I "should be" attending Friends Meetings, but I also feel believe that it is important that we be true to our leading, and mine often take me in this direction.
This does not mean I veer away from Quaker beliefs. In fact, I find that often, when I engage with and interact with people of other faiths or cuts of religious cloth, my Quaker faith deepens, but it is not so much faith in Quaker process.
So yesterday, as I alternately stood and sat at the folk mass, I was more acutely aware of all of this. To start, the readings and discussion (the folk mass has readings like most masses, but instead of a sermon, there is a congregational discussion) was about baptism not just as a commitment but as a re-commitment to one's faith. The question from the minister was "to what are we re-committing ourselves?" While some of the responses leaned towards a Trinitarian belief that God saves those who believe, I reflected that, for me, it is a re-commitment to my belief that there truly is that of God in all things and people, period, and this means I joyfully seek it without judging those who I may think don't see it or don't see things as I do.
At the same time, it is services like this that I have an opportunity to reflect on my own beliefs, and to not simply follow the flock. At this service, for example, following the discussion, there was the renewal of baptismal vows with a congregational response. Where we were asked to reaffirm our renunciation of evil, renew our commitment to Jesus Christ and our belief in Him as the only Son of God, his conception, etc., I was silent. These do not reflect my beliefs, nor do they reflect my deep personal commitments of how to be in the world. In fact, on some levels, they are counter to my beliefs (for example, that Jesus is the only Son of God). I'm not saying He's not, but it is simply something I am not deeply convinced of nor feel compelled to struggle with. My baptismal vow, if you will, is that I believe there is that of God in all and my renewal of that is a deeper commitment to joyfully seek and express this belief.
(As an aside: another perk of going to services like this was the image from the minister that the same waters of River Jordan in which Jesus was baptized are the same waters that flow in our world today, as we live on this earth in a closed system for all time. This was great fodder for contextualizing why the water/environmental/community work of our guest speaker at the potluck that evening is so important. I find that the perspective of other faith messages really has helped me to articulate why so much of the work we do matters.)

Institutions trying to Usurp a Movement

It has been interesting to watch the doings on at the various occupations around the country. In particular, watching some groups and organizations that grew out of movements of the past are now trying to latch on to the "Occupy Movement" to try and stake a claim in it has been most interesting. HIV/AIDS organizations and activists, Jim Wallis' Sojourners, environmental groups, healthcare groups, and organizations such as AFSC are all looking for ways to somehow get their message on the radar. Some seem to be trying to remain viable; others (Sojourners most blatantly) are using the movement as a fund-raising opportunity. Let me just say, I'm normally a big fan of Jim Wallis, but I was really turned off to get the most recent fund-appeal e-mail from Sojourners titled "we've been doing this for 40 years" and then asking people to join their "sustainers circle" (even going so far as offering a "free" gift if you donate which, to me, isn't free but bartering). It is exactly this kind of exploitation and manipulation done by the "establishment" that, it seems to me, many of the occupation movements are rejecting.

My take is that this occupation movement is a culmination of a whole bunch of things, and it is also unlike anything we've seen before. It's the result of not just leaders but entire communities punting on big issues and always deferring on making serious changes and difficult choices for a later day, and that day is now. As NYTimes columnist David Brooks observed last May, we now have young adults who played by the rules their whole lives (structured childhoods of playdates, sports, and academics driven not by learning but by test-scores and grades) with the promise that compliance would be rewarded, but instead are faced with high-rates of un- and under-employment and burdened with loans. There is anger for sure, but there is also the recognition that the previous generations failed to prepare for the future. This is a non-partisan issue; it was under the Clinton years that there was an explosion of McMansion's, big cars and unprecedented debt (to that point) - very much an "if it feels good, do it" time. It's not that this was Clinton's fault or responsibility; it was just part of the era we have been living since the 1950's of American capitalism.

It is easy to see that all the various social, environmental and health issues are related to this movement. In fact, there is a strong element of chaos related to this movement as it attracts the passionate, the disgruntled, the angry, as well as the dropouts looking for company and a chance to get high. A look at the various signs that pop up at these places can speak to this, as the "issues" are clearly present. But it is also fair, I think, to understand the rejection of the organizations that have been established to address these issues or, at the least, be very skeptical of their intrusion into the movement. Taking HIV/AIDS just as an example: at what point do we look around and say that the outcomes (in terms of the continuing spread of HIV and the growing wait-lists for treatment) are not just the result of bad politics or inadequate funding? It is also the result of an entrenched industry that played "spend it or lose it" that wasted millions of dollars in needs assessments and studies. It is not a movement but a business that holds expensive conferences in glamorous places, patting itself on the back but slow to adapt to new realities and technologies. Too often it is driven not by mission completion but by protection of turf, and now wants more money. There have also been organizations that have slashed programs and staff, but maintained salaries and pensions. It is the lack of balance to sacrifices that this generation is experiencing. Consider, as another example, in the wake of the Gulf oil spill last year, not one of the countless e-mails from environmental groups that I saw that called for protests or for more funding also called on people to reduce consumption. You can replicate this process with almost all the issues of our times. For many of these organizations and institutions, the goal is to keep their issue alive in people's faces, but they don't want to really be questioned about their corporate presence and how it influences our lives, which is the very thing I see much of what this movement is about.

It will be interesting to see where this movement goes. I fully support the idea of a major community transformation that connects us closer to the ideals we espouse (see another David Brooks column for more about this). For me, it's not just about taxing the rich, nor is it about healthcare for all. It's also not mine to say what it is about. I do think that a part of the movement that is healthy is that we all need to be fully engaged and responsible. If we are educated and informed while being engaged, we will absolutely be a better society. It will also spell doom to all those organizations that want to make this their cause and exploit it for their own institutional survival. I can't say that mine is to go and Occupy anything, but to do what I can to nurture the transformations for a better, more just world.

Israel, Palestinians, and Quakers

As clerk of the BYM Peace and Social Concerns Committee, I have recently found that to give this work due diligence, it is becoming increasingly important that I have a better knowledge base on the complex issue of the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. Most recently, the call for Palestinian statehood – which had long seemed a no-brainer to me – has heated up. Within the Yearly Meeting, there are those who are passionate that we should be vocal in supporting Palestinian statehood and boycotting all things Israel. Widening the circle I have seen and heard from some folks that not supporting statehood makes no sense and Obama is once again not showing fortitude. Among some of this group I have been taken aback by what I would call a somewhat toxic response laced with nasty comments bordering on hatred. And, in mid-September, three Quaker organizations (AFSC, FCNL, and QUNO) released a statement endorsing the Palestinian request at the UN for statehood - an act that the Obama administration asked them not to do, but to instead try to negotiate a peace first. In the Quaker statement, it is noted that the Palestinian request at the UN is a peaceful act, and should be endorsed. What seems to be missing is a deeper understanding of some of the history, such as that Mr. Abbas, despite recent actions, seems to struggle with making decisions (see this editorial for more) and this could be problematic in establishing a peaceful statehood.

And yet, as I sat and watched things unfold, I saw this issue evolve (or devolve?) into another partisan issue, where the political left generally endorsed statehood and the right did not, and Obama’s acts were perceived as politically motivated to appease the right. Personally, I am suspect of any issue that becomes partisan in this country, and wonder what the middle-ground is that people do not want us to see. So, I started to reach out. First, I contacted a friend of mine from high school who is Jewish, very liberal, and very connected with Israel. After high school, she did a year-long kibbutz, and this year her twin children are doing two separate kibbutzes in Israel. I forwarded to her some materials that I was receiving from Friends for her input. She connected me with a Jewish scholar who works at the Institute for Christian and Jewish Studies in Baltimore. From both of them, I have started to gain a deeper understanding of these issues. For example, among Jewish Americans, there is little support for Israeli occupation of territories, but there is also a strong concern about the security of Israel. And yet, in the various materials I have shared with them, they felt that the security of Israel was not a consideration. If Palestinians are granted statehood, does that mean that they could assume that Jerusalem is included as part of this deal? If that’s the case, we probably could expect to see a sharp rise in violence in that city. So I was starting to see that, in fact, Obama is right to say that peace needs to lead to statehood, and not the other way. Statehood first, I now think, will most likely lead to more violence, not less.

Then this morning there was this op-ed piece in the Washington Post questioning why Human Rights groups are ignoring Palestinian war of words (written by one of the founding members of Human Rights Watch). Essentially, for me, this best clarifies the issue, which is that, while I think Palestinians should have statehood, if it is established through the UN and not through a peace settlement with Israel, the anti-Israeli element of the Palestinian government and society could very-quickly take up arms. As the writer points out, the speaker of the Palestinian parliament called for the killing of the Jewish people “down to the last one of them” in 2007. I am reminded of the comments I heard from a speaker at the National Cathedral – a man from Darfur who was from the side that was being persecuted and executed (another issue I am shamefully thin on understanding). He said that with all the “Save Darfur” signs he was seeing, he was clear that the last thing we wanted to do was arm those who were being persecuted because the vengeance would be more brutal. Can we take comfort that this will not happen to Israel?

This is a very complex issue, and one that is going to take an immense amount of bridge-building. As I have delved into this, I am more convinced that this Friend (me) will not be actively involved in the public policy statements and minutes that take the side of the Palestinians in such a blanket way. There are factions within the Palestinian community that absolutely want to do violence to Israel. Peace, for some, is not the goal; eradication of Israel is. At the same time, within our own communities, when we ignore this reality, we are also not being kind to neighbors who do not support Israeli policy but are passionate that Israel must be protected. So, while I think we need to stand down from the partisan policy statements, I do think we should step up our role as bridge-builders – the ultimate peace makers. It is when we can widen our own circle of understanding that we can perhaps see new ways forward.